“Good times lead to good feelings” - Being out with friends encourages students to meet someone and engage in casual sex
Our university, Florida Gulf Coast University (FGCU), certainly is no party school by any stretch of the imagination. Niche.com has it ranked as #17 on its list of 2024 Top Party Schools in Florida. A smaller university with 15,000 students in Southwest Florida, FGCU is located between two metropolitan areas, Fort Myers-Cape Coral to the north and Naples-Marco Island to the south. While there has been a lot of development close to the university campus over the last 25 years, most of it has been (up-scale) housing, and restaurants and bars nearby are often filled more with retirees and snowbirds from the Midwest, Northeast, and Canada than students. Even the most popular team, the men’s basketball team, plays in front of mostly retirees and snowbirds.
My surveys exploring student health and sexual behavior found that 40% of students hadn’t gone out at all during the past seven days, 33% one night only, and barely 6% four nights or more. Nevertheless, those who went out were looking to have fun and maybe find someone for one night or more. After all, “[e]veryone is just trying to have a good time and no one wants to go home alone, again, this is a small college.” (heterosexual female, 20, junior).
Students responding to my surveys expressed generally positive attitudes toward having a good time. Almost three-quarters (73%) thought that college students are more likely to engage in casual sex than non-students, and 48% said being out and surrounded by friends makes it more likely to meet someone and engage in sexual activity. The majority of students emphasized the advantages of going out with friends over going out on their own or staying at home. Many of them were open about the fact that sexual activity may be on the cards in this situation or is the sole motivator for going out.
“Being around a big group simply attracts more people around and makes you more confident/feel safer.” (heterosexual female, 21, senior)
“Being surrounded by friends causes me to meet new people, and be more outgoing and happier. I am more likely to meet more people through my friends.” (heterosexual female, 20, junior)
“Confidence is boosted when with other friends.” (bisexual female, 18, freshman)
“Drinking with friends creates a friendly space where people aren’t afraid to have fun. Also leads to new people meeting. And every college student is horny so there’s that. (heterosexual male, 21, senior)
“being around friends gives u a comfortable environment to talk to new people, and therefore flirt and get someones information. which leads to a meet up and hangout and some time in the near future it leads to sex.” (heterosexual female, 19, sophomore)
“If you stay in your room all the time, it's harder to meet people to have sex with.” (bisexual female, 18, freshman)
My surveys exploring student health and sexual behavior found that 40% of students hadn’t gone out at all during the past seven days, 33% one night only, and barely 6% four nights or more. Nevertheless, those who went out were looking to have fun and maybe find someone for one night or more. After all, “[e]veryone is just trying to have a good time and no one wants to go home alone, again, this is a small college.” (heterosexual female, 20, junior).
Students responding to my surveys expressed generally positive attitudes toward having a good time. Almost three-quarters (73%) thought that college students are more likely to engage in casual sex than non-students, and 48% said being out and surrounded by friends makes it more likely to meet someone and engage in sexual activity. The majority of students emphasized the advantages of going out with friends over going out on their own or staying at home. Many of them were open about the fact that sexual activity may be on the cards in this situation or is the sole motivator for going out.
“Being around a big group simply attracts more people around and makes you more confident/feel safer.” (heterosexual female, 21, senior)
“Being surrounded by friends causes me to meet new people, and be more outgoing and happier. I am more likely to meet more people through my friends.” (heterosexual female, 20, junior)
“Confidence is boosted when with other friends.” (bisexual female, 18, freshman)
“Drinking with friends creates a friendly space where people aren’t afraid to have fun. Also leads to new people meeting. And every college student is horny so there’s that. (heterosexual male, 21, senior)
“being around friends gives u a comfortable environment to talk to new people, and therefore flirt and get someones information. which leads to a meet up and hangout and some time in the near future it leads to sex.” (heterosexual female, 19, sophomore)
“If you stay in your room all the time, it's harder to meet people to have sex with.” (bisexual female, 18, freshman)
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“More friends=more parties=more drunk encounters with opposite sex=more chances of getting laid.” (heterosexual male, 23, senior)
“Friends make the environment more comfortable like having other people there that make you feel safe so, I would be more open to meeting someone and possibly hitting it off.” (bisexual female, 19, sophomore) “If you're out and about with friends, you're more comfortable to go around and meet new people.” (heterosexual male, 23, senior) |
“I think that when you're with friends you are more likely to meet others through them, and you might have sex with some of them. I also think people typically feel safer around friends, and might engage in sex if they know their friends are close by to help them if the situation escalates in a way that they don’t like.” (pansexual female, 19, freshman)
“Meeting new people is the only way to make friends if you do not have any, How do you expect to meet a sexual partner if you do not even make friends?” (heterosexual male, 21, junior)
“My confidence goes up when I'm with friends so it causes me to approach men that I find attractive more easily which leads to sexual activity.” (heterosexual female, 18, freshman)
“You have to go out in order to meet people and have sex.” (heterosexual male, 20, sophomore)
“You feel bolder with a crowd”. (heterosexual female, 20, sophomore)
Respondents also stressed the positive effect of alcohol and/or drug consumption on their confidence and social skills in this scenario.
“Alcohol and drug usage definitely influences those choices, at least in my experience. If I had not been under the influence on many occasions, I believe my decisions would be very different.” (heterosexual female, 21, senior)
“Being around my friends, I am more likely to get introduced to people outside of our friend group. "Liquid courage" through drinking alcohol also makes it a bit easier to converse with someone and it maybe lead to sexual activity later on.” (heterosexual female, 20, sophomore)
“Alcohol and drugs definitely bring me out of my shell and I talk more and get flirty.” (heterosexual female, 19, freshman)
“I am typically having more fun and more comfortable so my ability to be outgoing increases while I am with friends. Drugs and alcohol play little role other than increasing my comfort.” (heterosexual male, 19, sophomore)
“Alcohol makes people horny.” (heterosexual female, 19, sophomore)
“Being out and about with friends causes you to meet many new people, and I think those who have engaged in sexual activity before, or have more sexual experience, will be more likely to engage in sexual activity upon meeting someone new. After having sex once or twice, it feels like less of a deal to engage in intercourse with someone you just met, especially while under the influence of drugs and/or alcohol.” (heterosexual female, 19, freshman)
“Usually when you're out having fun you want to end the night with someone else. When alcohol is involved even a buzz or feeling tipsy makes you feel bolder and more flirty.” (bisexual female, 19, junior)
“Since I drink socially and alcohol tends to make me act really extroverted and upbeat, I end up introducing myself to people and chatting them up more than I normally would. Usually I'm kind of a hermit so I think it's pretty funny.” (homosexual female, 18, freshman)
“Usually when you go out with friends and drink you have looser morals and you're not thinking you just want to have fun. Plus, everyone looks more attractive.” (heterosexual female, 19, freshman)
“Alcohol, peer pressure, the buzz of being out and about all contribute. Meeting new people who you immediately find attractive and when they reciprocate the feeling is very validating.” (bisexual female, 18, freshman)
However, the situation isn’t all roses. While most students felt that being with friends and consuming alcohol or drugs was positive for them, some students experienced peer pressure to engage in sexual activity. Plus, there are always risks associated with putting oneself in a situation where it’s easy to get coerced into sex or being a victim of sexual harassment or assault, as explored in a previous post.
“peer pressure (:” (heterosexual female, 20, junior)
“Alcohol and drugs and peer pressure to bring home a new person every night plays a huge role.” (heterosexual female, 20, sophomore)
“being with friends just leads to the societal pressure of needing to feel wanted and included.” (heterosexual female, 19, sophomore)
“Peer pressure to have sex with someone.” (heterosexual female, 18, freshman)
“Alcohol is a major reason why I had sex with many guys.” (heterosexual female, 19, freshman)
“There is a pressure that some people put on others to talk to girls/guys and make sure they have sex that night. I think alcohol use contributes to these acts, since people gain a new level of confidence when they are out drinking, especially with their friends.” (heterosexual male, 21, senior)
“Clubs or bars with alcohol or drugs involved makes people more horny and likely to make poor decisions.” (heterosexual male, 19, sophomore)
“I wouldn’t say alcohol is much an influence for me but being out with my friends is the main pressure. It’s almost an expectation among certain males and if you don’t meet that expectation then you’re viewed as inferior.” (heterosexual male, 21, junior)
“Friends try to encourage you to go home with someone. Alcohol usually plays a factor as well.” (heterosexual male, 21, senior)
“being with friends makes it easier to meet new people and when they are making out it pressures you to make out with the guy you are with.” (heterosexual female, 19, sophomore)
“There is sometimes a peer pressure to meet people when you go out. It usually influences when at a party or bar. Drug and alcohol do play a part in this.” (heterosexual female, 19, freshman)
“Usually alcohol is involved. But everyone around you seems to be engaging with other people so I feel pressured to as well.” (homosexual female, 19, freshman)
“When you're with friends you meet more people and you kinda get the push to be the cool one and to "live a little" so saying no makes you a bit "uncool". Alcohol and peer pressure play a huge role in pushing one to meet someone and engage in sexual activity I feel.” (heterosexual female, 19, sophomore)
“Sometimes your friends can influence you to be in places or take part in stuff you wouldn’t otherwise.” (bisexual female, 21, junior)
“I've seen many of my friends have been stuck in a situation like that. They've done stuff that they regret, like sex under the influence at a party, and they come back to me crying about it the next day telling me that they regret it.” (bisexual female, 19, senior)
“Meeting new people is the only way to make friends if you do not have any, How do you expect to meet a sexual partner if you do not even make friends?” (heterosexual male, 21, junior)
“My confidence goes up when I'm with friends so it causes me to approach men that I find attractive more easily which leads to sexual activity.” (heterosexual female, 18, freshman)
“You have to go out in order to meet people and have sex.” (heterosexual male, 20, sophomore)
“You feel bolder with a crowd”. (heterosexual female, 20, sophomore)
Respondents also stressed the positive effect of alcohol and/or drug consumption on their confidence and social skills in this scenario.
“Alcohol and drug usage definitely influences those choices, at least in my experience. If I had not been under the influence on many occasions, I believe my decisions would be very different.” (heterosexual female, 21, senior)
“Being around my friends, I am more likely to get introduced to people outside of our friend group. "Liquid courage" through drinking alcohol also makes it a bit easier to converse with someone and it maybe lead to sexual activity later on.” (heterosexual female, 20, sophomore)
“Alcohol and drugs definitely bring me out of my shell and I talk more and get flirty.” (heterosexual female, 19, freshman)
“I am typically having more fun and more comfortable so my ability to be outgoing increases while I am with friends. Drugs and alcohol play little role other than increasing my comfort.” (heterosexual male, 19, sophomore)
“Alcohol makes people horny.” (heterosexual female, 19, sophomore)
“Being out and about with friends causes you to meet many new people, and I think those who have engaged in sexual activity before, or have more sexual experience, will be more likely to engage in sexual activity upon meeting someone new. After having sex once or twice, it feels like less of a deal to engage in intercourse with someone you just met, especially while under the influence of drugs and/or alcohol.” (heterosexual female, 19, freshman)
“Usually when you're out having fun you want to end the night with someone else. When alcohol is involved even a buzz or feeling tipsy makes you feel bolder and more flirty.” (bisexual female, 19, junior)
“Since I drink socially and alcohol tends to make me act really extroverted and upbeat, I end up introducing myself to people and chatting them up more than I normally would. Usually I'm kind of a hermit so I think it's pretty funny.” (homosexual female, 18, freshman)
“Usually when you go out with friends and drink you have looser morals and you're not thinking you just want to have fun. Plus, everyone looks more attractive.” (heterosexual female, 19, freshman)
“Alcohol, peer pressure, the buzz of being out and about all contribute. Meeting new people who you immediately find attractive and when they reciprocate the feeling is very validating.” (bisexual female, 18, freshman)
However, the situation isn’t all roses. While most students felt that being with friends and consuming alcohol or drugs was positive for them, some students experienced peer pressure to engage in sexual activity. Plus, there are always risks associated with putting oneself in a situation where it’s easy to get coerced into sex or being a victim of sexual harassment or assault, as explored in a previous post.
“peer pressure (:” (heterosexual female, 20, junior)
“Alcohol and drugs and peer pressure to bring home a new person every night plays a huge role.” (heterosexual female, 20, sophomore)
“being with friends just leads to the societal pressure of needing to feel wanted and included.” (heterosexual female, 19, sophomore)
“Peer pressure to have sex with someone.” (heterosexual female, 18, freshman)
“Alcohol is a major reason why I had sex with many guys.” (heterosexual female, 19, freshman)
“There is a pressure that some people put on others to talk to girls/guys and make sure they have sex that night. I think alcohol use contributes to these acts, since people gain a new level of confidence when they are out drinking, especially with their friends.” (heterosexual male, 21, senior)
“Clubs or bars with alcohol or drugs involved makes people more horny and likely to make poor decisions.” (heterosexual male, 19, sophomore)
“I wouldn’t say alcohol is much an influence for me but being out with my friends is the main pressure. It’s almost an expectation among certain males and if you don’t meet that expectation then you’re viewed as inferior.” (heterosexual male, 21, junior)
“Friends try to encourage you to go home with someone. Alcohol usually plays a factor as well.” (heterosexual male, 21, senior)
“being with friends makes it easier to meet new people and when they are making out it pressures you to make out with the guy you are with.” (heterosexual female, 19, sophomore)
“There is sometimes a peer pressure to meet people when you go out. It usually influences when at a party or bar. Drug and alcohol do play a part in this.” (heterosexual female, 19, freshman)
“Usually alcohol is involved. But everyone around you seems to be engaging with other people so I feel pressured to as well.” (homosexual female, 19, freshman)
“When you're with friends you meet more people and you kinda get the push to be the cool one and to "live a little" so saying no makes you a bit "uncool". Alcohol and peer pressure play a huge role in pushing one to meet someone and engage in sexual activity I feel.” (heterosexual female, 19, sophomore)
“Sometimes your friends can influence you to be in places or take part in stuff you wouldn’t otherwise.” (bisexual female, 21, junior)
“I've seen many of my friends have been stuck in a situation like that. They've done stuff that they regret, like sex under the influence at a party, and they come back to me crying about it the next day telling me that they regret it.” (bisexual female, 19, senior)
