Relationships and Dating
Gen Z relationships and dating models are vastly different from those of their parents. At the heart of these changes lies the digital revolution. Online dating apps and social media platforms have expanded access to potential partners, erasing geographical boundaries and broadening the scope of choice. The shift from face-to-face to screen-based communication has redefined relationship dynamics. Emojis, acronyms, and GIFs have replaced the subtleties of tone, facial expressions, and body language. These shifts not only change the rhythm of communication but also pose challenges in deciphering the true intent behind digital cues, sometimes leading to confusion and misunderstanding. Adding to this complexity is the emergence of diverse relationship models, challenging the conventional, monogamous partnership norms. The acceptance and mainstreaming of open relationships, polyamory, and casual arrangements, such as ‘situationships’, have ushered in an era of greater sexual and emotional freedom, necessitating a broader understanding of the multifaceted landscape of relationships.
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Still, when we focus on the underlying quest for a relationship and ignore the, at times, confusing terminology used in connection with online dating, such as ‘beige flags’, people’s relationship status can be reduced to two basic states: single or in a relationship. Consequently, when surveyed about their current relationship status, participating students had four options to choose from: 1) I'm single/currently not in a relationship; 2) I'm in a committed (monogamous) relationship; 3) I'm in an open relationship; 4) Other: (for which respondents were able to enter whatever relationship status they felt best described their situation).
Among the 3,000 Gen Z students participating in my survey, almost equal numbers were in a committed relationship (49%) or single/not in a relationship (47%). Two percent of Gen Zers indicated being in an open relationship or selected 'other relationship'. |
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The difference between Generation Z females and males was remarkable. While 51% of females were in a committed (monogamous) relationship, only 38% of males were. Accordingly, 57% of males selected being single/not in a relationship and 4% being in an open relationship compared to 45% and 2%, respectively, for females. In contrast, women were three times as likely to describe their relationship status as ‘other’. The most commonly mentioned other relationship statuses by either sex were: ‘it’s complicated’ and ‘talking to someone’ or variations of these two. There were also a few ‘friends with benefits’ relationships as well as some less common relationship statuses such as:
“I have a boyfriend who is monogamous with me, but I also date a girl who sees other people. She is my boyfriend’s girlfriend too, but they don’t have a sexual relationship.” (female, 22, junior)
“I'm having sex with a guy, we share romantic feelings but don't see each other enough to claim to be a relationship.” (female, 19, sophomore)
“We have love for each other but she's graduating so we're doing everything that people do when they date except date.” (female, 20, sophomore).
“I'm single but my heart is taken lmfao.” (female, 19, sophomore)
“i have a boyfriend, but i have cheated on him.” (female, 19, sophomore)
“I am in a polyamorous relationship with two partners.” (female, 18, freshman)
When the survey asked respondents who were single what kind of relationship they were looking for next, casual sex or a committed relationship, Gen Z students were mainly interested in being in a committed relationship (72%) and not only casual sex (28%). However, there was a big difference between male and female Gen Z students. More than 40% of male students wanted casual sex, and only 60% were looking for a committed relationship, whereas 75% of females aspired to be in a committed relationship, and only 25% expressed interest in casual sex.
Asked how they usually meet new partners, most Gen Z students selected ‘when I got out’ (61%) and ‘on campus’ (58%) as the most common ways to meet new partners. About equal numbers used ‘dating/hookup apps’ (24%) or ‘online/social media’ (25%), while 10% met new partners via friends, work, or church. Less than 2% don’t make any effort to find someone.
“I have a boyfriend who is monogamous with me, but I also date a girl who sees other people. She is my boyfriend’s girlfriend too, but they don’t have a sexual relationship.” (female, 22, junior)
“I'm having sex with a guy, we share romantic feelings but don't see each other enough to claim to be a relationship.” (female, 19, sophomore)
“We have love for each other but she's graduating so we're doing everything that people do when they date except date.” (female, 20, sophomore).
“I'm single but my heart is taken lmfao.” (female, 19, sophomore)
“i have a boyfriend, but i have cheated on him.” (female, 19, sophomore)
“I am in a polyamorous relationship with two partners.” (female, 18, freshman)
When the survey asked respondents who were single what kind of relationship they were looking for next, casual sex or a committed relationship, Gen Z students were mainly interested in being in a committed relationship (72%) and not only casual sex (28%). However, there was a big difference between male and female Gen Z students. More than 40% of male students wanted casual sex, and only 60% were looking for a committed relationship, whereas 75% of females aspired to be in a committed relationship, and only 25% expressed interest in casual sex.
Asked how they usually meet new partners, most Gen Z students selected ‘when I got out’ (61%) and ‘on campus’ (58%) as the most common ways to meet new partners. About equal numbers used ‘dating/hookup apps’ (24%) or ‘online/social media’ (25%), while 10% met new partners via friends, work, or church. Less than 2% don’t make any effort to find someone.
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The primary difference between online dating and dating apps is the medium through which they are accessed. While online dating can be performed on any internet-enabled device, including desktop computers, dating apps are specifically designed for mobile devices and often utilize features specific to these platforms, like geolocation.
Online dating and the use of dating/hookup apps certainly paid off for our students as 70% of students reported having hooked up with someone they met online or via dating apps at least once. Half of them claimed to have hooked up more than once (42%) or regularly (8%). Male Gen Zers were even more successful than females, with 20% hooking up regularly via online dating or hookup apps compared with only 5% of females. |
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